Below The Stars
by Rach L
Summary: Beka Valentine decides to leave the Andromeda.


Below the Stars  
By Rach L.  
rach_jiwon@hotmail.com  
  
Rate: PG-13, for later parts.  
Spoiler: The Ties That Blind, Pearls That Were His Eyes, The Mathematics of Tears. So on.  
Summary: Beka Valentine decides to leave the Andromeda.  
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. Good enough?   
Note: My first Andromeda fic. (Geez, am I going all over the fandoms or what?) It's an experiment of sorts, and hasn't been beta'ed thoroughly. I'd love it if someone can give me a hand by generously offering to beta this story from now on. Please?   
  
  
  
  
-Prologue-  
  
  
Stars were stars.  
  
Beka Valentine stood alone in the empty observation deck, staring into the deepest part of the vast space. The stars. There once had been a time when she'd thought the stars were drawing a perfect picture of harmony and beauty. There were the times when she was downright romantic.   
  
Young Rebecca Valentine had loved the idea of attachments--to her father, to her family, to her friends. She'd made an obligation to keep the bonds to her loved ones, no matter what it'd cost her, no matter how the 'obligation' backfired on her. Because it had been the only thing that kept her sane, something that held her together.   
  
It hadn't kept her life from breaking into pieces, though.  
  
But she was no longer Rebecca, was she? She was Beka, and Beka Valentine always glued herself together, landed on her feet, and kept going. It didn't matter that just recently Uncle Sid --uncle, my ass-- had tried to kill her for a few bucks (okay, so it wasn't really a few bucks, but!) or her bro still was still out there somewhere, causing troubles all over the universe. Her attachment, the memory of her dad was all she had. The violation of that memory, even if it might not be an accurate picture of him, would destroy her. She'd been disillusioned, yet it was even more impossible not to cling to her obligation.  
  
She turned her eyes to the antique CD she held between her palms. Even Rafe had the decency not to steal this one from her box, because it was his gift to her for her tenth birthday. He was her family, whether she liked it or not.  
  
Damn him.  
  
Damn everything.   
  
Why now? Why now, when she was finally settling into the life of Andromeda? Why now, when she was about to believe that maybe, maybe this eternal optimistic Boy Scout could work things out after all and achieve the impossible?   
  
The stars, glittering in blue and white, no longer held the same melancholic value to her. They could have. She could've gone back to being romantic just for a while. But no, things never worked out that way. She couldn't see through the thick distortion called reality.   
  
There were times when even her best crazy glue didn't work.  
  
  
-Part 1-  
  
  
"Dylan, I want out."  
  
Captain Dylan Hunt of the Systems Commonwealth didn't look up, concentrating on the readings rather than on his first officer standing in front of him.   
  
"If you're filing up for yet another vacation time, Beka, mark my words--you won't have any for years to come," he answered half-teasingly and stood up, collecting the flexi. "Have you checked the readings yet? There's going to be another storm coming to our way. Better be prepared...Beka?"  
  
Suddenly realizing that there was no quick, sarcastic reply from her, he looked up and saw Beka's stiff expression. He carefully deduced, "This isn't about vacation time, is it?"  
  
Beka held her blue eyes with his, her voice a little strained, "Not at all. I want out."  
  
Dylan wasn't certain if he'd heard correctly, but there was no mistake what she meant by 'out'. Sure, he'd thought this might happen in the beginning, when he'd worried every passing second that he might hear those exact same words from any member of his crew. But now, when they were finally starting to work well together, and when their relationships were getting smoother --relatively, anyway-- he never imagined that Beka would come to his quarter, dropping a bomb like this.  
  
Now Beka stood in front of him with big dark circles around her eyes, as distant as ever, and her defensive wall was up high. And her pale face... Had she lost weight lately? Why hadn't he picked that up before? Damn. "Beka," he took a step closer to her, "What brought this on? What is it?"  
  
Her face was carefully devoid of any expression. "After a careful consideration, I decided that I do not belong here in Andromeda. I officially resign."  
  
Oookay. She sounded almost like military, one thing that she wasn't. Something was wrong. Very wrong. "Well, if you want out, I'd very much like to know why."  
  
She glared at him. "Is it required to tell you the reason I want to get the hell out of here? It's personal."  
  
"Beka..." He half groaned. Why did everything have to be so *damn* hard with this woman? "I'm not asking as the captain of the ship, or your commanding officer." Not that it'd matter much to her, anyway. "I'm asking as your colleague, a friend."  
  
She arched her eyebrow. "A friend? Isn't that a bit of a stretch?"  
  
"So now I'm not even your friend?" His jaw unconsciously stiffened.   
  
"Dylan," she raked her fingers through her blonde hair, sighing, "friends know stuff about each other. What exactly do we know about each other?"  
  
He frowned, thinking back to the few months with the crew on board. What did he know about Beka Valentine other than the facts that she was the captain of the Maru, had a con man as a brother, and apparently a very interesting father? "I know...things about you," he replied, feeling suddenly defensive.  
  
"Yeah?" she crossed her arms, the lopsided grin on her face not necessarily pleasant, "When's my birthday?"  
  
Right, he knew nothing. "Uh..."  
  
"Yours is June 24th. Sarah's is July 5th. And it'd make just about 306 years or so of engagement with Sarah by next month." Seeing his surprised look, she simply shrugged. "First Officer's Manual. Thy must know about every single dirt on the captain in case of shortage of blackmail material."  
  
"Is that what this is about?" he spoke tensely, at the same time berating himself for not paying more attention to his crew profiles before. "That I'm not good enough as your captain or as a friend?"   
  
"Don't be ridiculous," she snapped, "It was my understanding that I can take my ship and go whenever I want out. Wasn't that the agreement?"  
  
It was, and he couldn't order her to stay. But it didn't mean he wasn't supposed to be angry about this abrupt declaration. "I deserve an explanation, Beka. I was the one who told you you're free to go as you please, but I at least deserve an explanation."  
  
"Yes, you do," she stared at him for a long moment, "but you won't get it now."  
  
He stared at her with incredulity, but she didn't even blink. "What about others?" he finally asked, anger now dissolving into frustration and disappointment, "Rem? Trance? Harper? Do they know? Or...are you taking them with you?"  
  
"No," her face became slightly flustered, "no, I wouldn't do that to you, or to them. They like it here, Dylan. Just..." There was a faint look of guilt passing through her face. "I haven't told anyone yet. I was hoping maybe you can tell them."  
  
"No," he cut her off, "You cannot ask me to do that. Don't tell me you were planning to go off without even telling your crew."  
  
"*Your* crew, Dylan," she pointed out, "Your crew, as you have repeatedly reminded me. And I'm...really not good with goodbyes."  
  
She didn't want them to know, he realized. She wasn't planning to tell them at all. "Why are you doing this, Beka?" he couldn't help sounding accusatory, "Explain in terms that I understand, because this 300 year-old living fossil, as you put it, is having a hard time comprehending you."  
  
She didn't answer to that, and only simply said, "Tyr will make a good first officer."  
  
"Not as good as you."  
  
"'course not," she smirked, "although I'm *pretty* sure you think my performance as your first officer cannot sink any lower."   
  
"That's not--"  
  
She cut him off, "It was pleasure to serve with you, Captain Hunt." She quickly offered her hand, gesturing the end of the discussion. "Believe it or not, I think you just might make it and restore the Commonwealth. Would be kinda nice if I get to tell my grandchildren I was a part of this as a bedtime story."   
  
He opened his mouth to reply, but he couldn't. It was as if this steel door that said 'the Path to Beka Valentine's Mind' just closed in front of him. Although it didn't close with a loud bang, a long thick curtain was slowly drawn, effectively blocking him from looking into it for an answer.   
  
He could never force her to stay, even if he wanted her to.  
  
He didn't take her hand. There was a sense of finality in this simple gesture. "You always have your place here. Whatever it is you have to do, you can always come back. You don't have to make this sound like a permanent good-bye."  
  
"It might be."  
  
Dylan stood, staring as Beka turned around and walked out of the room.  
  
He stood alone in silence.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"Beka," Andromeda's voice was distressed, her usual AI-like detachment absent from her voice. "What is the reason for this decision?"  
  
Beka punched the code and waited for the door to Eureka Maru to open with a familiar whoosh. "Rommie, my, have you been eavesdropping? Harper's been a bad influence on you," she spoke cheerfully, not wanting to get into a debate again.  
  
"I do not understand." Andromeda's holo projection was wearing a look of concern. "Dylan is frustrated, as am I. I am certain that Dylan will compensate you with another vacation time if there is a serious matter you have to attend to."  
  
Beka stifled a laugh despite the situation. "Well, guess I'll have to tell Harper to threaten Dylan with a resignation if he ever wants to try another surfing competition."   
  
"Beka, I, I do not wish to see you go."   
  
She turned back to the hologram, surprised. Rommie looked, well, almost sad. Maybe this AI was more human and honest than anyone else on board, she thought. She wished if it was the Avatar of Rommie; then she'd at least be able to give her a hug.   
  
"Rommie, do you...do you remember what I told you about family? When we talked about Pax Magellanic?" Beka was quite aware that Andromeda could recall every word used in their conversation about the sister High Guard ship that had gone haywire. "Somethings...just can't be let go of. Somethings you just have to deal on your own."   
  
Maybe she was imagining things, but Beka was almost certain that there was a flicker of sympathetic understanding passing through Rommie's face.   
  
She gave Rommie a small smile and stepped into her ship. Almost as an afterthought, Beka turned to the hologram again, "Do me a favor, Rommie. I'm sure Trance will remember it, but remind Dylan that Harper's Big Day is in two weeks? He's obsessed with chocolate brownies." An unexpected grin played on her lips. "Maybe Harper can program your avatar, so you can actually taste food."  
  
There was an uncertainty in Rommie's eyes, if AI's could ever look uncertain about anything. "Chocolate brownies?" She wrinkled her nose slightly.  
  
"You'll love it--trust me on that."  
  
With that as the partying words, Beka pressed the button to close the door. The sight of almost wistful expression of the beautiful AI quickly disappeared in front of her eyes, soon replaced by the gray metal door of the Maru. She leaned on the familiar wall of her ship, closing her eyes briefly. It was foolish to feel remorse. She needed to concentrate on the task that needed to be done. As long as she had her Maru, which never disappointed her, she would be okay.  
  
God, she hoped so.  
  
"I have a question for you, Captain Valentine."  
  
Beka whirled around, her gun at ready, and found the least expected person casually leaning on the wall in the control room of her Maru.  
  
"Tyr," her voice couldn't conceal the shock.  
  
Tyr Anazi took steps closer to her, his expression cocky as usual, "There was a tempering of the transmission record. Someone has received something, and erased the record. Purposefully, so no one can access it. Now," he produced a disk from his pocket, no doubt containing the recovered record, "why would anyone want to do such a thing?"  
  
She only said, "Get off my ship, Tyr."  
  
He simply ignored her threatening gesture. "I must say I'm disappointed. I thought you were smarter than to think of going after a fortune, a treasure hunt at best. Although--" he took a few more steps toward her, as if to overwhelm her with his big stature, "You did stick around here longer than I expected."  
  
Sometimes she wanted to smack that disdainful Nietzschean. Sometimes? All the time. "Are you finished?" She made a drama of cleaning her nails. "As much as I want to stick around to continue this stimulating conversation, I'm kinda busy right now. So get off my ship, or I'll make you."  
  
"Oh, really?" Tyr arched his eyebrow, crossing his arms, not at all intimidated.  
  
She brought her hand over her pulse rifle again. "Yes. *Really*."  
  
They stared --blazed-- at each other for a long moment. His black eyes were trying to figure her out, as Dylan's had been. But then that moment soon passed, and he shrugged, turning away. "It's your life."  
  
"Damn straight," she snapped sharply. When she saw him reaching the door, she sighed and called out, "You're not gonna tell them."  
  
He whirled around, the disdainful and cocky expression now becoming a permanent feature of his face. "Now, why would I tell any of those idiots that you're going to get yourself killed? They might even entertain the notion of following you and wasting resources along the way." His expression sobered a little. "Andromeda will found out soon enough without my help. You are aware of that."  
  
"Yeah, but I'll be long gone by then." She shrugged. She didn't think she could erase the record permanently anyway. Just matter of time before Andromeda or Harper found it out.  
  
Harper. Oh, boy. Wouldn't he be angry once he realized she was gone? Trance and Rev, too. They'd been her family for so long, and it pained her that she had to betray them this way.  
  
But what had to be done had to be done.  
  
She met Tyr's gaze all in seriousness. "Will you take care of them?" She didn't need to elaborate who 'they' were.  
  
For a fraction of a second, Tyr Anazi looked lost, taken off-guard. But he soon recovered. "I am no babysitter," he answered briskly.  
  
She offered him a small grin. "Well, that's the best 'yes' I could get out from Tyr Anazi."  
  
Tyr looked sour, but didn't say anything to deny. Who'd have thought that Nietszchean had a heart? But Beka was convinced that he would look after her friends, even with the begrudging attitude. She now felt slightly better about her crew's safety.  
  
"Well, now that's done, and I gotta go for the treasure huntin', as you've so colorfully put it." She stood straight, her hand over the control panel to signal him that she was ready to close the entrance of the Maru, and very ready to kick him out. "So, goodbye Tyr. Hope you get that survival philosophy thing down, and meet a nice, homely Nietzschean woman who'd give you a healthy son."   
  
He didn't respond to her teasing with a grumpy reply or a snort. Instead, his answer contained solemnity that she didn't particularly like, "As much as I hate to say this, they need you." He looked extremely uncomfortable, with his macho ego and all, but he continued, "You're too essential to the crew's survival."  
  
For some reason, she knew this was actually Tyr's best version of heartwarming 'Don't go.' She was touched as much as shocked. "Thanks Tyr," she smiled. "I mean that."  
  
He met her eyes for the briefest second, but he must've realized that there was no way to convince her. He stepped out from the ship silently, but his eyes didn't leave her even when the Maru's door closed with a whoosh again.  
  
She took a moment to calm herself. Dammit. Why did he have to say something like that and actually sound *sincere* at the last moment? What'd happen if there would be another storm and Rommie couldn't navigate through it without her? What'd happen if Harper got sick again and Dylan was too occupied to notice? What--  
  
This was stupid. They could manage without her for a while.   
  
And if that while became ever, then she wished them good luck finding a new pilot.   
  
Moments later, the Eureka Maru departed from Andromeda's docking bay with Beka Valentine as the only passenger.  
  
And she didn't look back.  
  
  
***  
  
TBC...  
  
  
Agh, I cannot start another action cliffhanger! Somebody stop me! 


End file.
